I teach high school children leadership and I didn’t feel that I could teach my kids to “Lift Someone Up” if I couldn’t do that myself. I decided therefore, that I would help Kishore sell a few of his paintings- -just enough to help him stand on his own two feet so he could go to a gallery with his head held high and then I would be done. It would be as easy as that. I could help him put his paintings up on a website and then things would take their own course. Famous last words.
Before I knew it, I was knee deep in website design, jpeg resolutions, dpi’s. I was in way beyond my capabilities in no time. At this point my husband was losing his patience. We had bought a painting. My friends had even bought a few. Shouldn’t we be done? Hadn’t we already helped enough? I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t give up. Why in fact I wouldn’t give it up—why it wasn’t fair to leave Kishore alone to fend for himself. I struggled to communicate with both of them.
Finally, my husband caved in and we actually hired a website designer to help put the site together for Kishore. I got a logo. I learned how to edit the website and add pictures to it. Then I learned how to mail artwork, how to find shippers, and fill tax forms. I felt more awake than I had in a long time. I also learned about Instagram, social media and Facebook. But, I myself didn’t do social media. I didn’t “do” Facebook. I didn’t want anyone from my past to find me. That’s when I came to terms with the fact that I had been hiding from my past, and from my future. I knew then that I had to honor my struggle, have reverence for the invisible logic of my journey. It was time to step out of the liminal shadows and into the light.
Blended Flower Essence therapy to help you through the challenge
Hope is the hardest love we carry—for ourselves!! Gorse is the flower essence that maintains hope when it feels hard to see in the darkness. Just like the tiny yellow flowers, Gorse lifts the hopelessness of the moment and restores faith and a positive outlook.
Combine it with Gentian—one of my favorite essences—for self-doubt and discouragement. When a setback feels like a mountain, Gentian brings it back to a molehill. Pessimists often take longer to lift themselves up. Gentian will do some of the uphill work for you—helping you feel that you are up to the challenge.
And, in the presence of sunflowers, I learned, everything grows a little bigger. Allowing yourself to be seen is Sunflower essence. When you step into your power, you don’t just take space—you fill it!!
This is the fourth blog in a weekly series that explores my search for reverence for life. What does it mean and why is it important?
Flowing with Life
Are You Open to Your Creative Flow?
Can You Make Space for the Flow of Life?
Can You Trust Yourself in the Midst of Change?
Are You Willing to Lift Someone Up?
Life Lessons from A Starving Artist